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Ultimately, Suzanne and Joe decided to get married, obviating the whole "workplace awkwardness" issue. When my daughter's friend lost her mother, I invited the widowed father to brunch.
At conferences and work parties when I was single, I approached men who appeared to be alone. While planning her daughter's wedding, my divorced friend, Jane, developed a crush on the florist. From the time he walked in, he waxed poetic about his deceased wife. I couldn't be sure, but it was clear he was neither available nor ready. The subject matter should excite you — don't sign up for a bridge class if you hate playing cards — but the type of class has to be right, as well.
As with my "no students" rule, I never dated a fellow house member; when we played charades or had barbecues with people in the community, however, I did meet a few men I wound up dating back in the city.
The advantage of meeting someone on vacation is that the two of you have "preselected" similar interests and comfort levels.
One phone call, 25 years and five children later, they are married and still talking — and traveling — together.
Reading to a very young child in a hospital room may be satisfying, for example, but it's also an activity that tends to isolate the volunteer.
It's easy — or at least logical — to strike up a conversation with a seatmate; if nothing else, you've got your destination in common.
Or you might kick things off by talking about the book or magazine you are reading, or your impending (or just-concluded) vacation.
But take heart if online dating sites put you off, for many ordinary places make excellent potential meeting grounds.
You may have to stretch your normal behavior — that is, you may have to reach out, assert yourself, be creative, act strategically and think outside the box.
We got to enjoy one dinner together before he was called to L. They made eggplant parmigiana and vegetarian lasagna, among other things, then enrolled together for a second cooking course (on soups). These days they're in each other's kitchen almost every night, cooking up a storm.